and you?

On Mondays I teach two 25 minute kindergarten classes in the afternoon. Though these classes together add up to the same time as one normal class, they are what I least look forward to the entire week. It's not that the kids are bad (they are actually really cute), it's just that I hate faking enthusiasm for the whole class. Most of them are about 5 yrs old and the only way to keep their non-existent attention is for me to dance, sing, gesture, make noises, and otherwise make a complete fool out of myself. I realize that I should not care what the kids think about me and no one else really sees, but I think it just goes against years of instinct to preserve my self-image. The hours leading up to class are filled with regret and nausea, but once I'm in class it more becomes a tornado of regret, nausea, and just a bit of enjoyment. It is rewarding though and a good experience.

On thing that is obvious with 5 yr olds learning a new language is that they tend to memorize phrases that they are taught rather than understanding the parts of the phrase. I think I explained that pretty poorly so I will give an example-- "I am fine, and you?". In the maybe 10 kindergarten classes that I have taught since I started not a single student has answered my question "How are you today?" with "I am fine". The response without fail is "I am fine, and you?". Even if I ask a different question like "How old are you?", I'll often get "I am fine, and you?". This can often be tricky also because the phrase sounds very much like "I am five (which many of them are), and you?". My favorite, however, is when I ask a student another question like "What color is your shirt?" and he looks at me with bewildered eyes and responds "I am fine, and you?"

There is a joke that is particularly funny to English teachers in China which involves a Chinese person in America driving a car and they are hit by an American driving a car (this has nothing to do with the poor driving stereotype). The American person is not hurt at all and the accident was his fault. The Chinese person, on the other hand, broke his arm and his leg and can't move. The American driver asks if he is OK, and the Chinese guy responds (I think you know where this is going) "I am fine, and you?"

I know that probably could have better written but I'm still recovering from the gauntlet that is kindergarten and need a nap.